somber hue diffused on everything.
each creature, each emptied corn stalk,
is richly bundled in the mellow light.
in that open unharvested field of my own life,
i have fathered small joys and memories.
my heart was once a lover's swing that creaked in wind
of these calm fall days.
autumn chants my visions to sleep,
and travels me back into a night,
when i could touch the stars and believe in myself...
along the way, grief broke me,
my faith became hardened dirt
walked over by too many people.
my heart now, as i walk down this dirt road,
on this calm fall day,
is a dented
tin bucket
filled with fruits
picked long ago.
it's getting harder
to lug the heavy bucket
i spill a memory on the ground,
it gleams,
rain on hot embers
of yellow grass.
-jimmy santiago baca
each creature, each emptied corn stalk,
is richly bundled in the mellow light.
in that open unharvested field of my own life,
i have fathered small joys and memories.
my heart was once a lover's swing that creaked in wind
of these calm fall days.
autumn chants my visions to sleep,
and travels me back into a night,
when i could touch the stars and believe in myself...
along the way, grief broke me,
my faith became hardened dirt
walked over by too many people.
my heart now, as i walk down this dirt road,
on this calm fall day,
is a dented
tin bucket
filled with fruits
picked long ago.
it's getting harder
to lug the heavy bucket
i spill a memory on the ground,
it gleams,
rain on hot embers
of yellow grass.
-jimmy santiago baca
some say the world will end in fire,
some say ice.
from what i've tasted of desire
i hold with those who favor fire.
but if it had to perish twice,
i think i know enough of hate
to say that, for destruction, ice
is also great
and would suffice.
-robert frost
some say ice.
from what i've tasted of desire
i hold with those who favor fire.
but if it had to perish twice,
i think i know enough of hate
to say that, for destruction, ice
is also great
and would suffice.
-robert frost
i'm afraid of love.
not of feeling it, but of what comes with it:
failure, worry, commitments that may be broken, etc.
i have no trust in it. i trust love, the feeling, i just don't trust the people who feel it.
they are the ones that govern how the feeling will be carried out.
so, i suppose it's not Love that i fear...
it's the Lover.
i won't promise to always do the right thing.
i won't promise to love anyone forever.
i won't promise to always be happy.
i won't promise that everything will work out.
i won't promise that it will all be ok.
why?
because i'm human.
i can't promise to always be there because i don't know if you will be there for me too.
i don't know what the future holds.
i can't promise to always do the right thing because the right thing is sometimes just too hard for me to do.
i can't promise to love anyone forever because no one can promise me that in return.
i can't promise to always be happy because i'm sane and in touch with reality.
i can't promise that it will all work out because, yet again, i don't know the future.
i can't promise that will all be ok because i'm not ok, and people told me that i would be.
but i can try my hardest to comfort you in times of trial.
and work my butt off to right my wrongs.
and love someone with as much intensity as i can muster even if for a short while.
and put a smile on my face when you have a frown, even if i'm breaking apart inside.
and do my dammedest to see you through to a happier time.
and show you that there is a way to be happy when you're down.
but don't expect me to know what to do.
don't expect me to understand every mistake i make.
don't expect anything from me because after all...
i'm only human.
Profile
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif?v=88.8)
kinsleesuzanne- kinsleesuzanne
Syndicate
